A FRIEND’S STORY: "I presented adoption as thoroughly as I could"
Susan learned her matched birth mom’s pregnancy was the result of an extra-marital affair. The birth mom had a previous abortion. She was not planning to parent. Two older children were being raised by relatives.
Lengthy conversations and emails between Susan and the pregnant woman centered on the benefits of adoption versus abortion. “I encouraged her to talk about her feelings,” said Susan.
The young woman felt placing a child for adoption would be too difficult because she wouldn’t know what happened to him, so Susan offered information about open adoption, whereby the birth mom maintains a relationship with the birth child and adoptive parents. She also shared her experience as an adoptive parent and the joy her adopted children have brought to her family. Finally, she encouraged the pregnant woman to look beyond the immediate. “As hard as you think adoption might be, don’t you think abortion is harder?” Susan asked her.
In the end, Susan mourned the woman’s choice to terminate her pregnancy. But Susan experienced peace in knowing she’d presented the adoption option as thoroughly as she could, and had offered unconditional love and acceptance to a woman in turmoil.