HISTORY:
How Birthmothers Came to Be
By Jim Wright, Founder, President & Chief Volunteer
 People
often ask me why Birthmothers is needed when there are already
many other services for pregnant women. I find that explaining
Birthmothers’ distinctives always comes back to my own personal
experience with adoption.
A Personal Passion
My passion to help women facing crisis pregnancies stems from
what my wife and I experienced when we began the adoption process
in 1990. We chose private adoption instead of agency adoption.
Our son, A.J. Wright, was born on July 30, 1991 to a fourteen-year-old
high school freshman.
Her journey to becoming a birth mom was not easy. Since she knew
that neither she nor her family had the resources to parent her
baby properly, she approached a pregnancy care center about placing
her child for adoption.
She felt scared and confused. There were many choices to make
and many conflicting sources of information. In trying to sort
through them, her feelings of fear and isolation grew. The situation
was simply too overwhelming for her to tackle alone.
Personal connections brought my wife and me together with A.J.’s
birth mom, and she selected us to be his adoptive parents. But
the hopelessness she’d experienced during her previous attempts
to make an adoption plan left scars of anger, frustration and
helplessness.
I realized then that a woman in crisis has two critical needs:
life-affirming resources and adoption information, along with
one-on-one support during her decision-making process. She often
feels lonely and afraid. No matter what her circumstances, a woman
in a crisis pregnancy desperately needs a personal ally who will
be in her corner throughout her pregnancy.
A Special Burden
That experience gave me a special burden. Women in crisis pregnancies
are repeatedly left unaware of the many viable options for choosing
life. They don’t know where to turn, and they don’t
know how to find accurate information. Confusion and fear add
to their dilemma. Often, the church is nowhere in sight.
In conversations over the next three years, many people affirmed
the need to support women in unwanted pregnancies. Even A.J.’s
birth mom wrote us a letter, sharing her joy in helping a close
friend, who faced an unplanned pregnancy, choose adoption.
Then, my call to action was confirmed in late 1994, when I shared
my story with Tom Starnes, a friend in my businessmen’s
Bible study. He and his wife were considering adoption.
I told Tom how special A.J. was to my wife and me. For the first
time, I articulated my specific vision for providing a program
of constructive, positive help to pregnant women — and offering
adoption as an option, when appropriate.
Tom looked at me directly and said with great conviction, “You’ve
got to do it! You’ve just got to do it!”
I felt I had just heard a message directly from the Lord.
At that point, I surrendered my will to God, and focused my
energies on doing what I knew He had unmistakably called me to
do.
A Defining Moment
My initial idea was that before a pregnant woman is equipped to
visit an agency, she needs to call someone with whom she can discuss
her predicament.
To understand the telephone resources that are available to
women, I consulted with Focus on the Family’s Crisis Pregnancy
Center Resource staff (Colorado Springs, CO) and visited a major
crisis pregnancy phone center in Dallas, TX. Women can call the
Texas-based Crisis Pregnancy Helpline’s nationwide, toll-free
number, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They talk with a counselor
who makes referrals to pregnancy care centers in the woman’s
geographic area and shares information about pregnancy symptoms,
medical care, abortion, adoption, STDs, housing and counseling.
Telephone services like these are invaluable. But as I watched
the phone lines at the center light up and recalled A.J.’s
birth mom’s experience, I realized that a woman in a crisis
pregnancy needs much more than a long-distance counselor. She
needs someone to give her focused, individual love and attention
— an advocate who will show compassion and connect her to
whatever life-affirming resources she needs.
The idea of the “Friend” mentoring program was born.
A Para-Church Organization
In early 1995, I received some startling statistics from Pat Fagan
at the Heritage Foundation in Washington, D.C. Abortion rates
had increased in the U.S. for 20 years, while barriers to adoption
had multiplied. Yet a key component of welfare reform was to increase
the numbers of adoptions.
The need for our “Friends” ministry was confirmed.
It was Pat who pointed out the merits of recruiting an army of
volunteers from America’s 400,000 churches.
We began by building relationships with local churches to recruit
Friends. Since then, Birthmothers has continued to work hand in
hand with congregations to grow Church Teams that minister to
pregnant women in their communities. We provide information, resources
and training. Churches recruit volunteers and Friends, who are
the heart of Birthmothers’ ministry.
How Birthmothers is Different
Birthmother Ministries was incorporated in 1996 and operates specifically
to:
- "demonstrate constructively Christ’s unconditional
love and compassion toward women faced with an unplanned pregnancy;
- encourage churches to minister actively to the needs of these
women;
- encourage adoption in the appropriate circumstances”
(Articles of Incorporation, Article 3, page 1).
Since then, we have trained more than 300 Friends and supported
countless women. By working together with pregnancy care centers
and agencies, we provide information and support that women need
to choose life. We complement agency services in two distinct
ways:
1. Our support for birth moms is targeted and very personal.
- We train a Friend to be effective in a one-on-one, supportive
relationship with a birth mom.
- We promote and facilitate adoption if the woman concludes
it’s in the best interest of her child.
- We build a network of life-affirming resources to support
the mother in choosing life.
- We have toll-free, 24/7, nationwide telephone access for birth
moms and family members.
2. Our organizational structure and philosophy are specific and
unique.
- We are church based.
- We cultivate a network of strong, collaborative relationships
with pregnancy resource centers (CPCs), adoption agencies, family
and government services organizations and other life-affirming
resources.
- We cut across lines that divide Christian denominations to
serve Christ alone.
- We are not a protest organization.
- We seek to demonstrate Christ’s love and compassion
to each woman, regardless of race, age, religion, marital status
or social class.
Copies of Birthmothers’ Articles of Incorporation and
Bylaws are available upon request.
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