10th Annual Birth Mothers Day Brunch Honoring Women Who Have Placed for Adoption

Posted on May 27, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

At Birthmothers’ 10th Annual Birth Mothers Day Brunch honoring women who have placed children for adoption, President Jim Wright thanks placing women for their courage and explains his concept of "adoption squared."

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How One Birth Mom Acted With Tremendous Courage

Posted on May 10, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

For You From The Word

She saw that he was a fine child and she hid him for three months.
But she could hide him no longer.
(Exodus 2:2-3)

For You To Think About

Amram and Jochebed had a new baby son. But as Hebrew slaves in Egypt, they knew the pharaoh’s decree: no Hebrew boys were to live. Once discovered, the boy would be forcibly taken from them and thrown into the Nile to drown. His chances of a productive life, if his parents raised him, were next to none.

What courage this couple showed when Jochebed placed him in a basket in the river, hoping a tender heart would find him and raise him! There was no adoption agency, no screening process, no prospective set of parents to meet. Instead, Jochebed considered above all else the baby’s best interests … and then acted.

God provided miraculously for the boy. He was discovered and raised by pharaoh’s daughter in the palace. Jochebed’s son, Moses, was later used by God to lead His people out of slavery.

For You To Pray

Merciful God,
When it is appropriate for a woman to place her child for adoption, give her courage to do so. Provide assurance that her child will be well-loved and cared for.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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“My Friend Gave Me Courage to Carry My Baby to Term”

Posted on May 4, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

By Saku N. as told to Birthmothers

It was unthinkable for me, a pastor’s daughter who loved the Lord with abandon, to consider abortion. But for the first time in my life, I did.

I conceived just a few days after I joined my husband in the U.S. We’d been apart for 18 months. In my home country, I had a good job, lots of friends, and an active social life. But now, in a strange country with no friends and no money, I was unbearably lonely. My husband declared bankruptcy. We moved in with his relatives. I would soon find out that he passed along an STD to me.

Then, he became abusive.

For awhile, I denied my situation. I could take care of myself, I reasoned.

asian womanBy God’s grace, my mother-in-law attended McLean Bible Church (McLean, VA). During one of my first visits with her, I picked up a Birthmothers card in the ladies room that said, “Pregnant? Need a Friend?” with a telephone number to call.

I was unfamiliar with how American women interacted with each other and afraid I wouldn’t be accepted. Also, I’m not proactive. So instead of calling Birthmothers right away, I held onto the card. But after I cried myself to sleep every night for several weeks, I realized I needed to talk with somebody.

My call to Birthmothers was the first time I reached out to a stranger. The kind lady on the phone matched me with Julie. Thank God – I finally had a Friend!

When I met Julie, more fears surfaced. This will never work, I thought. She is white and I am Asian. My stress was overwhelming. I knew no one. I had nothing – no job, no car, and no money. I didn’t even have a driver’s license. My anxiety was so overpowering that I was afraid I would miscarry.

But Julie was patient and caring. She made time to visit me and listen to me, even though she has three children of her own. Right away, that eased my loneliness.

Together, she and her husband took steps to make sure I was physically safe. They helped me move into a home for abused women. Julie stood by me when the courts placed a restraining order on my husband.

Julie later told me that she prayed very hard that I would keep my child and not abort. Her encouragement made all the difference.

If a pregnant woman would ask me whether or not she should call Birthmothers and be matched with a Friend, I would tell her not to hesitate and not to be scared, but rather be open to receive what a Friend can offer.

Julie’s husband once told me, “Maybe in the past, you’ve been a giver. But there are times in your life when you need to receive. Now is one of them.” I am so grateful I reached out to ask for help. Julie has been a true Friend to me! She helped me have courage to carry my baby to term. Today, I’m the mother of a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

Find out how you can become a Birthmothers Friend when you contact Birthmothers.

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Abortion Risks

Posted on April 29, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

Physical Risks Associated with Abortion

woman in shadowAbout 10% of women who have a first-time abortion face immediate physical complications, according to a study reported in the American Journal of Pubic Health and the Journal of the Royal College of General Practitioners.1 Most physical complications develop as a result of an incomplete evacuation of the uterus, infection, or injury from instruments used during the procedure. The risk of complications rises significantly when abortions are performed in the second trimester over the first trimester.

Excessive bleeding
Some bleeding after an abortion is normal. But when excessive or uncontrolled bleeding occurs after an abortion (often from a torn cervix or punctured uterus) a transfusion may be required.2 RU486 increases risk of heavy bleeding, with 1% women users requiring surgery to stop bleeding.3

Infection
A pelvic infection can lead to high fever, hospitalization, and pelvic organ scarring. Moreover, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID), caused by bacteria entering the body during or after an abortion, can spread from the cervix to uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries.4 Fetal or placenta parts left inside a woman’s body (known as an incomplete abortion) can breed infection and can necessitate repeating the abortion procedure. A number of RU486 users have died as a result of sepsis (total body infection).

Incompetent cervix
During a normal pregnancy, the cervix remains tightly closed until term. An incompetent cervix is one that undergoes premature opening during pregnancy. It is also referred to as cervical incompetency.  Forcible opening of the cervix from repeated abortions can damage or weaken it, causing miscarriages or difficulties in sustaining the weight of the baby in subsequent pregnancies.

Perforated uterus, bowel, or bladder
Abortion instruments can puncture abdominal organs, requiring emergency surgery to repair the damage. Occasionally perforation requires removal of the uterus (hysterectomy).

Scarring
A fertilized embryo seeks to implant itself in the soft lining of the uterus. Suction tubing, curettes, and other abortion instruments may cause scarring of the uterine wall if an infection is present at the time of the abortion.  Scar tissue may prevent the embryo from implanting, leading to miscarriage or other complications in subsequent pregnancies.

Sterility
The Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health reports that women who have abortions more than double their risk of future sterility.

Breast Cancer
The relationship between abortion and breast cancer has been the subject of substantial study.  In 2003, the National Cancer Institute convened to evaluate the evidence.  A world-wide meta-analysis of 83,000 women examined the relationship between abortion and breast cancer and found that induced abortion is not associated with an increase in breast cancer risk.  Studies published since 2003 continue to support this conclusion.5

Ectopic pregnancy
Abortion increases the risk of subsequent ectopic pregnancies (pregnancy that develops outside the uterus, most often in the fallopian tubes).6 Ectopic pregnancies, in turn, are life-threatening and may reduce fertility.

Complications from anesthesia
Use of general anesthesia during an abortion can lead to loss of uterine muscle tone, which can cause excessive bleeding and hemorrhaging. Other potential complications include hypoxia (whole or part of the body is deprived of an adequate oxygen supply) and breathing difficulties. Local anesthesia complications include seizure, cardiopulmonary arrest, allergic reaction, or severe whole-body reaction.

Death
Recent statistics from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) report fewer than one death per 100,000 legal abortions due to complications.7 Though rare, abortion can directly cause death as the result of bleeding, infection, organ damage, or other complications. Long term, women who have abortions are four times more likely to die within the year following their pregnancy than women who carry to term. Most causes (though not all) are associated with risk-related behavior including suicide, injury, accident, and homicide.8

Psychological and Emotional Risks

A significant number of women experience psychological and emotional difficulties after an abortion. A recent study found that more than 85 percent of women who aborted reported at least one negative reaction to abortion, such as such as sorrow, grief, regret or disappointment.9 About 35% reported five or more negative reactions. Up to 10% of surveyed women developed “serious psychiatric complications.”10

Depression and Anxiety
Women who have experienced abortion have a 65% higher risk for developing long-term clinical depression than non-abortive women.11 Women with no history of anxiety are 30% more likely to develop generalized anxiety symptoms after an abortion.12

Substance Abuse
Women with no prior history of substance abuse are 5 times more likely to abuse drugs and/or alcohol after an abortion than those who give birth.13 In one study, 60% women admitted increased alcohol use after an abortion.14

Sleep disturbances
More than one third of aborting women experience sleep disturbances or nightmares.15

Eating Disorders
39% post-abortive women battle subsequent eating disorders including bulimia, binge eating, and anorexia nervosa.16

Relationship and Sexual Difficulties
At least seven documented studies report that women who have had one or more abortions are significantly more likely to have shorter relationships and more divorce. Moreover, 30-50% post-abortive women experience difficulties in subsequent relationships, including aversion to men, aversion to sex, painful intercourse, and promiscuity.17

Repeat Abortions
Among women having abortions in the United States, about one-half have already had a prior abortion.18 Abortion places a woman at higher risk for another abortion.

Smoking
Women who abort are twice as likely to become heavy smokers.19

Suicide
A study reported port-abortive women were six to seven times more likely to commit suicide in the following year than were women who gave birth.20

Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS)
Women who have experienced abortion and who present a specific set of symptoms are diagnosed with Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS), now widely accepted as a subset of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (a condition triggered by a traumatic experience that renders the victim unable to cope). PASS symptoms include depression, inability to function normally, inability to manage personal responsibilities, self-harm, self-destructive behavior, suicidal thoughts or activity, and the desire to get pregnant.

Additional psychological and emotional risks associated with abortion include difficulties with normal functioning, (maintaining school, job, or family responsibilities), child abuse, avoidance behavior, irritability, outbursts of anger, and violent behavior.

Learn More

Thinking About Abortion?

Types of Abortion

Abortion Alternatives

NOTES

1Frank, et.al., “Induced Abortion Operations and Their Early Sequelae,” Journal of the Royal College of General Practitioners (April 1985) ,35(73):175-180; Grimes and Cates, “Abortion: Methods and Complications,” Human Reproduction, 2nd ed., 796-813; M.A. Freedman, “Comparison of complication rates in first trimester abortions performed by physician assistants and physicians,” American Journal of Public Health, 76(5):550- 554 (1986). 

2J.A. Stalworthy, et al, “Legal Abortion: A Critical Assessment of its Risks;” The Lancet, (1971).

3Interview with Dr. Joel Brind, endocrinologist, “RU486 Mifepristone: Are Women At Risk?” Heritage House, 2007.

4M. Spence, “PID: Detection and Treatment,” Sexually Transmitted Disease Bulletin, Johns Hopkins University, 3:1 (1983).

5American College of OB/GYN Committee Opinion, 434 (2009).

6J.R. Daling et al, “Ectopic Pregnancy in Relation to Previous Induced Abortion,” Journal of the American Medical Association. 1985; 253 (7).

7L.T. Strauss et al, “Abortion Surveillance – United States, 2003,” MMWR Surveillance Summaries. Centers for Disease Control: 2006; 55(SS11); 1-32, Table 19.

8Gissler, M., et. al., “Pregnancy-associated deaths in Finland 1987-1994 — definition problems and benefits of record linkage,” Acta Obsetricia et Gynecolgica Scandinavica 76:651-657 (1997).

9David M. Ferugsson, L. John Horwood and Joseph M. Boden, “Reactions to abortion and subsequent mental health,” The British Journal of Psychiatry 195: 420-426 (2009).

10Friedman,et.al.,”The Decision-Making Process and the Outcome of Therapeutic Abortion,” American Journal of Psychiatry 131: 1332-1337 (1974).

11J.R. Cougle, D.C. Reardon, P.K. Coleman, “Depression Associated With Abortion and Childbirth: A Long-Term Analysis of the NLSY Cohort,” Medical Science Monitor 9(4):CR105-112, 2003.

12 J.R Cougle, D.C. Reardon, P.K. Coleman, “Generalized Anxiety Following Unintended Pregnancies Resolved Through Childbirth and Abortion: A Cohort Study of the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth,” Journal of Anxiety Disorders 19:137-142 (2005).

13 D.C. Reardon, P.G. Ney, “Abortion and Subsequent Substance Abuse,” American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse 26(1):61-75, 2000.

14A. Speckhard, Psycho-Social Stress Following Abortion, Ph.D. Thesis, University of Minnesota, 1985.

15 Ashton,”The Psychosocial Outcome of Induced Abortion,” British Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology 87: 1115-1122, 1980.

16Burke, Teresa K. with David C. Reardon. Forbidden Grief. Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 2007, p. 187.

17Speckhard, “Psycho-social Stress Following Abortion,” Sheed & Ward, Kansas City: MO, 1987; and Belsey, et al., “Predictive Factors in Emotional Response to Abortion: King’s Termination Study – IV,” Social Science and Medicine 11:71-82 (1977).

18R.K. Jones et al, “Repeat Abortion in the United States,” The Guttmacher Institute Occasional Report No. 29 (2006).

19Harlap, “Characteristics of Pregnant Women Reporting Previous Induced Abortions,” Bulletin World Health Organization, 52:149 (1975); N. Meirik, “Outcome of First Delivery After 2nd Trimester Two Stage Induced Abortion: A Controlled Cohort Study,” Acta Obsetricia et Gynecologica Scandinavia 63(1):45-50(1984); Levin, et al., “Association of Induced Abortion with Subsequent Pregnancy Loss,” Journal of the American Medical Association, 243:2495-2499, June 27, 1980.

20 M. Gissler et. al., “Injury deaths, suicides and homicides associated with pregnancy, Finland 1987-2000,” European Journal of Public Health 15(5):459-63 (2005).

 

 

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Types of Abortions

Posted on April 29, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

Abortion is the early termination of a pregnancy. A spontaneous abortion (also called a miscarriage) occurs on its own. An induced abortion is the intentional termination of a pregnancy and expulsion of a fetus, whether by surgery or the administration of pharmaceuticals.

There are 2 kinds of induced abortions: surgical and chemical.

Surgical Abortion Procedures

1. Manual Vacuum Aspiration: within 7 weeks after last menstrual period
Dilators (metal rods) are used to stretch the cervical muscle until the opening is wide enough for abortion instruments to pass through the uterus. A hand-held syringe is attached to tubing, which is inserted into the uterus. The fetus is suctioned out.

2. Suction Curettage: after 14 weeks from the last menstrual period
The abortionist uses a dilator or laminaria to open the cervix. Laminaria are thin sticks from a kelp species that are inserted hours before the procedure and allowed to slowly absorb water and expand, thereby dilating the cervix. Once the cervix is dilated, the abortionist inserts tubing into the uterus and attaches the tubing to a suction machine. Suction pulls apart the fetus’ body and out the uterus. After suction, the doctor and nurses must reassemble the fetus’ dismembered parts to ensure they have all the pieces.

3. D & C (Dilation and Curettage): within first 12 weeks
The cervix is dilated. A suction device is placed in the uterine cavity to remove the fetus and placenta.  Then the abortionist inserts a curette (a loop-shaped knife) into the uterus. The abortionist uses the curette to scrape any remaining fetal parts and the placenta out of the uterus.

4. D & E (Dilation and Evacuation): within 13-24 weeks after last menstrual period
The fetus literally doubles in size between the 11th and 12th weeks of pregnancy. Soft cartilage hardens into bone at 16 weeks, making the fetus too large and strong to pass through a suction tube. The D & E procedure begins by inserting laminaria a day or two before the abortion, opening the cervix wide to accommodate the larger fetal size. The abortionist then both tears and cuts the fetus and uses the vacuum machine to extract its remains. Because the skull is too large to be suctioned through the tube, it must be crushed by forceps for removal. Pieces must be extracted very carefully because the jagged, sharp pieces of the broken skull could easily cut the cervix.

5. Saline: after 15 weeks of pregnancy
This procedure is conducted in the same manner as amniocentesis (a prenatal test used to diagnose a fetus’ potential chromosomal abnormalities). A long needle is inserted into the woman’s abdomen, directly into the amniotic sac. It is at this point that a saline abortion and amniocentesis differ. In a saline abortion, amniotic fluid is removed from the woman and replaced by a strong saline (salt) solution. As the fetus’ lungs absorb the salt solution, it begins to suffocate. It may struggle and may even have convulsions. The saline also burns off the fetus’ outer layer of skin. Saline abortion can take one to six hours before the fetus is no longer viable. The woman begins labor after approximately 12 hours, and she may take up to 24 hours to deliver. Because the procedure is often quite long, many times the woman is left to labor alone.

6. Prostaglandin: after 15 weeks of pregnancy
This procedure is conducted in the same manner as a saline abortion, except prostaglandin (a hormone that causes the woman to start labor) replaces saline. Prostaglandin activates contractions. It can cause overly painful or intense labor; there have been cases in which the violence of the contractions ruptured the mother’s uterus.1 This type of abortion is not preferred by abortionists because there is a 40% higher chance of a live birth.

7. Hysterotomy: after 18 weeks
This procedure is the same as a cesarean section (in which the doctor cuts through the abdomen and uterus to deliver the baby), except that in a hysterotomy, no medical attention is given to the baby upon delivery to help it survive. Most often, a wet towel is placed over the baby’s face so it can’t breathe. Sometimes the baby placed in a bucket of water. The goal is to have a baby that won’t survive.

8. D & X (Dilation and Extraction): from 20 weeks after last menstrual period to full term. Also called “partial birth abortion.”
This procedure takes three days. During the first two days, the woman’s cervix is dilated. She is given medication for cramping. On the third day, she receives medication to induce labor. As the woman labors, the abortionist uses an ultrasound to locate the baby’s legs. The abortionist then grasps a leg with forceps and delivers the baby up to its head. Next, using a scissors, the abortionist creates an opening in the base of the baby’s skull. A suction catheter is inserted into the skull opening, and the baby’s brains are suctioned out. The skull collapses, and the rest of the baby’s body is delivered through the birth canal.

Chemical Abortion Options

1. RU-486 (Mifepristone): within 4-7 weeks of the last menstrual period. Also called “the abortion pill.”
This drug interferes with levels of progesterone, a hormone that keeps the fetus implanted in the wall of the uterus. The woman is prescribed progesterone and then returns to the clinic two days later to receive a prostaglandin drug that induces labor and expels the dead fetus. A third visit may be required if the baby is not expelled, at which time a woman has a 5-8% likelihood of needing a surgical abortion to complete the process. RU-486 is documented to be unsafe for women.2

2. Methotrexate and Misoprostol
Methotrexate is used for treatment of cancer, and Misoprostol is used for ulcer treatment. In a chemical abortion, these two drugs are used in combination. Methotrexate causes cells in the placenta (the organ that nourishes the fetus) to die.  Misoprostol empties the fetus from the uterus by causing the uterus to contract and push the fetus out. Methotrexate is a drug used in chemotherapy and has the potential for serious liver toxicity.

3. “Morning After” Pill: sometimes used in rape cases
Up to 72 hours after intercourse, a woman is administered large doses of birth control pills (or levonorgestrel, also known as Plan B) to prevent the embryo from implanting in the uterus wall. Twelve hours after the first dose, a second dose is given. Large doses of birth control pills work to prevent ovulation and hinder sperm motility.

Learn more:

Thinking About Abortion?

Risks to Abortion

Abortion Alternatives 


NOTES

1Duenhalter & Gant, "Complications Following Prostaglandin Mid-Trimester Abortion," OB & GYN, 46:3 (1975)
2 Irving M. Spitz, C. Wayne Bardin, Lauri Benton, and Ann Robbings, "Early Pregnancy Termination with Mifepristone and Misoprostol in the United States," New England Journal of Medicine, 338:18 (1998).

 

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Abortion Alternatives

Posted on April 29, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

If you face an unplanned pregnancy, you have several options. Take your time to investigate them all. Gather as much information as possible so that you can make a careful, informed decision that’s best for you and your child.

Get support during the decision-making process

Close family members and friends can provide important input. But you may have reasons for privacy. Or you may simply need a special person to listen without judgment and without the emotional attachments. Many women find it helpful to have an objective third party walk with them through the decision-making process.

A Birthmothers Friend is trained to act as a sounding board and provide resources you need while you decide your next step. Many Friends have themselves experienced an unplanned pregnancy and understand the challenges you face. A Friend won’t pressure you or preach to you. A Friend provides unconditional acceptance, information, and support. Click here to learn more about being matched with a Friend.

Pregnancy Options

There are at least three alternatives to abortion:
• Parenting
• Interim Foster Care
• Adoption

Each has its own elements to consider.

1. PARENTING

Parenting is a challenging but an extremely rewarding experience. As you consider the parenting option, give yourself time to investigate it thoroughly and to understand what raising a child will require. 

If you choose to parent, you have several options:

Marriage and parenting. You are ready to make a commitment to both your partner and the child, and choose to marry and raise the child together.
Things to consider: have you been together for awhile? Have you considered getting married? Do you have a good relationship? Are you committed to each other?

Joint parenting. Although not ready to make a marriage commitment, you and your partner choose to share responsibilities for raising the child in a joint custody arrangement.
Things to consider: are you both committed to the child’s needs and best interests above your own? Are you able to work through scheduling, financial, commuting, and communication challenges?

Custodial parenting with visitation. One partner is fully committed to raising the child. The other partner is less than fully committed.
Things to consider: is the custodial parent able to take on nearly all of the responsibilities for the child? Is the visiting parent able to provide financial child support and invest some time in the child? Do both parents have an additional support system of family and friends? Are you able to work through scheduling, financial, commuting, and communication challenges?

Custodial parenting. One partner is fully committed to raising the child. The other partner is either unable to participate in parenting, does not want to be a part of the child’s life, or has exited the relationship.
Things to consider: as custodial parent, do you understand that responsibility for the child will fall completely on you? Do you have an additional support system of family and friends? Are you prepared to have to petition for child support?

Things to think about in general when considering parenting
• Am I ready to accept responsibility for my baby’s needs?
• Will the other birth parent be supportive?
• Do I have family support?
• Am I too young? Am I too old?
• How will I support myself and my child? Do I have a job? Will I be able to finish school?
• Where will we live?
• Do I have access to affordable medical care?
• What kind of life can I offer my child?
• Do I have any physical, mental, or emotional health issues that could impact my parenting?
• Do I struggle with substance abuse?
• Am I in a safe situation?

Resources
Basic Decision Making by Anne and Jimmy Pierson, published by Loving and Caring, Inc. 
Is Parenting for Me Now? by Anne and Jimmy Pierson, published by Loving and Caring, Inc.


2. INTERIM FOSTER CARE

Interim foster care provides a loving, nurturing short-term home for a newborn infant. It can last as little as a few hours or up to several months. Interim foster care families are skilled at caring for babies. This option offers flexibility while you decide what to do.

Interim foster care provides extra time.  Birth parents may need more time to decide whether an adoption plan is best. They may wish to make a specific type of adoption plan or choose an adoptive family. Some birth moms find that after birth, they must re-process their decision to parent or to place. A birth mom may simply need more time to get to know the prospective adoptive family and be certain they are the ones to raise her child. Paperwork can be delayed. Foster families can step in to provide interim care in any unforeseen turn of events.
Things to consider: Do you need more time to make a decision? If you’ve already chosen to place for adoption, have you made an adoption plan? Do you need to choose an adoptive family? Do you want to spend time getting to know the prospective adoptive family?

Interim foster care provides a secure environment. The birth father or other family member may file for custody or contest an adoption. Interim foster care can provide a loving, secure environment for the baby while court cases are pending.
Things to consider: Is there a potential custody case?

Interim foster care serves as a safeguard for everyone. With interim foster care, the birth mom doesn’t have the pressure of making or finalizing her decision during her hospital stay. An adoptive family doesn’t have to live in fear of the baby being removed from their home. The baby won’t be moved from place to place.
Things to consider: Are there any elements about your unplanned pregnancy that remain uncertain? 

3. ADOPTION

Adoption is the legal transfer of all parental rights and responsibilities to another adult or adults. Many women choose adoption because they believe it is best for their children. They acknowledge that adoption is not abandonment, but rather a loving, responsible act. 

How it works
Adoptions are arranged in one of two ways: independently or through an agency. Most states allow birth moms a set period of time after delivery to finalize her adoption plan. Laws specifying that amount vary from state to state.

  1. Independent (Private) Adoption. Private adoptions are arranged without an agency. Prospective placing and adopting parents find each other through attorneys, physicians, advertisements, or other facilitators (where legal).
  2. Agency Adoption. Two types of agencies handle adoptions.
    Private Agency Adoption. Private agencies are licensed by the state but funded privately. They assist in all types of adoptions and serve prospective placing parents, adopting parents, and children simultaneously.
    Public Agency Adoption. Public agencies are licensed by the regional or state government and operate on public funds. They primarily facilitate adoption from foster care.

Approximately 75-80% of adoptions are independent (private or direct), in which the parties locate each other without the assistance of a child-placing agency.

Adoption Types

Different types of adoption are distinguished by the level of contact between the birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child. As a birth parent, you have considerable control over what adoption type you choose. You’ll choose a type of adoption based on what level of contact you want, what your state allows, and what agency or facilitator you select.

Open adoption.  An open adoption allows for some level of direct contact between birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child. Typically, the birth mom writes an adoption plan for her child which includes choosing the adoptive parents and exchanging letters, pictures, and perhaps visits with her child. The adoptive parents can choose whether or not to accept her plan or negotiate parts of it. Birth parents and adoptive parents can have direct contact before and after the adoption. An open adoption can be handled through an agency or through an independent attorney, depending on state law.
Key outcomes
• greater control over the adoption process
• potential for a role in child’s life
• comfort in knowing about child’s well-being

Semi-open adoption (or “mediated adoption”). A mediated adoption is a variation of open adoption. Prior to placement, the birth parents and pre-adoptive parents exchange mostly non-identifying information. Once the child is placed in the adoptive home, the adopted child may have contact with the birth family that involves pictures, letters, or other types of communications sent through the adoption agency or the attorney who assisted with the placement.
Key outcomes
• some privacy for all parties
• the ability for all parties to have contact
• comfort in knowing about child’s well-being

Closed adoption (“confidential adoption,” “traditional adoption”). A closed adoption allows for no direct contact between birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child. The birth mom (or birth parents) may be given some non-identifying information about the adoptive parents, such as their ages and occupations. Adoptive parents are given information that will help them take care of the child, such as medical or family history. Specific information, including names and addresses, are not revealed to either party. A closed adoption is not as widely used today as it used to be in years past. It can be handled through an agency or through an independent attorney, depending on state law.
Key outcomes
• privacy for all parties
• possible sense of isolation for child, birth parent


Things to think about when considering adoption
• Am I able to give the child the love he needs and deserves?
• Am I patient enough to deal with the noise, confusion, and the 24-hour-a-day responsibility of having a child?
• How will I support myself and my child?
• Could I handle a child and a job and/or school while parenting?
• How would I take care of my child’s health and safety?
• How do I feel about my child being raised in a one-parent household?
• Am I willing to learn about the various types of adoption?
• Do I know any birth moms who have placed? Adoptive families? Adoptees?

Resources
Birthmother, Good Mother by Charles T. Kenny, Ph.D. (published by National Council for Adoption)
What About Adoption? by Anne and Jimmy Pierson, published by Loving and Caring, Inc.

 

Learn more

Thinking About Abortion?

Types of Abortions

Risks to Abortion

 

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How Birthmothers works through churches and volunteers

Posted on April 28, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

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10 Ways to Encourage Birth Moms

Posted on April 26, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

For You From The Word

Encourage one another and build each other up. 
(1 Thessalonians 5:11)

For You To Think About

A woman who faces an unplanned pregnancy is preparing for what has been called “the hardest job in the world” – motherhood. You can encourage her when you:

1. Telephone her just to see how she is doing.
2. Mail her an encouraging note.
3. Compliment her on how she’s managing her pregnancy.
4. Write her a short email.
5. Offer to drive her to a medical appointment – or simply go along to keep her company.
6. Prepare a meal for her.
7. Send her a cute or funny e-card.
8. Tell her you’re thinking about her.
9. Ask her if she has specific prayer requests – and tell her you’re praying for her.
10. Affirm her decision to choose life.

For You To Pray

Loving Father,
Show me how to encourage a pregnant woman I know. Let me speak Your love and support into her life today.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

More About Encouragement

How to Find Resources That Encourage Women and Men to Choose Life

Encourage Means To Fill With Courage

Encouragement: How 83% More Women Could Choose Life

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Birthmothers Ministry Video

Posted on April 26, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

Birthmothers in a special interview with Revelations TV series. Thank you, Horizons Media!

 

 

 

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How to Support Family Members Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy

Posted on April 20, 2010 by Kathy Widenhouse

For You From The Word

His friends met together by agreement to go … and comfort him.
(Job 2:11)

For You To Think About

guy with head in handsDan glanced over at Michael during church. Michael held his head in his hands. His shoulders slumped. Dan had never seen his normally upbeat friend so burdened.

Later, in the parking lot, Dan caught up with Michael. “Is there something on your mind?” he asked. Michael bit his lip and looked away. Then he turned back to his friend.

“My granddaughter Tiffany is pregnant,” he said. “She doesn’t know who the father is. I feel so helpless. I pray she makes a good decision.”

Dan reached over and embraced his friend with a bear hug. “I’ll pray with you,” he said.

An unplanned pregnancy impacts not only the birth mom and the birth dad, but everyone in their circle. Your sensitivity to family members – and your loving support – reflects Jesus’ unconditional acceptance and offers hope.

For You To Pray

Loving Father,
Help me be sensitive to those whose lives are touched by an unplanned pregnancy, especially family members. Reveal how I can offer support. Let Your love flow from me to them.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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