Birthmothers Friends are trained to identify a woman’s unique needs and provide support in her particular set of circumstances. Where appropriate, Friends present adoption. One scenario, Friends tell us, is that “adoption comes up naturally” in conversation.
The Need to Talk It Through
Jackie was matched with a pregnant woman who already had a toddler. The birth dad was not supportive. The birth mom lived with her own father but was uncertain whether he would allow her to stay in the home once he discovered she was pregnant again.
“She was in shock and needed to talk,” said Jackie. “Our conversations allowed her to process the situation.” It was natural for the topic of adoption to surface. Jackie acted as a sounding board as the birth mom discussed her feelings about placing for adoption versus parenting, and was prepared with materials if the birth mom chose to pursue adoption further.
Through those discussions, the birth mom was able to assess her situation. She got a new job. Her father accepted the pregnancy and offered to help babysit in the evenings. “Ultimately, my birth mom chose to parent – which deep down was what she really wanted to do,” said Jackie. “I was glad I could be there for her as she worked through her decision.”
The Need to Articulate Feelings
The topic of adoption came up naturally when Lisa was matched with a teenage birth mom who had some mental challenges. “Have you ever considered adoption?” Lisa asked early on. The conversation moved quickly. The birth mom explained her feelings about why she wanted to parent rather than place for adoption.
“She had thought about adoption and was able to articulate how she felt,” said Lisa. Ironically, because of the birth mom’s medical limitations, the grandmother has taken on an adoptive parent’s role in the baby’s life while coaching her daughter to be the caregiver.
Did You Know?
Americans are eager to adopt. An estimated 10 million couples would attempt to adopt a child domestically if they felt they had a realistic opportunity to do so, according to a recent study by the National Council For Adoption.